So I suck. Don't argue, I'm going to tell you why. If you somehow disagree, you may have your own opinions about me. You, however, are not me and, despite the fact that I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone, I want you to understand that I haven't told you everything and I never will. Why? Well, that's because ya'll are a bunch of strangers. For this reason, my name is Matthew and not ******. Because I'm paranoid. And I don't care if I lie online.
So, I can't talk to girls. That's my main problem and the reason I feel so sucky. I have a few friends who are girls, to be clear, and I do indeed talk to them -- otherwise we wouldn't be friends anymore. However, if I decide I like a girl, I don't talk to her. I really am not entirely sure why, but in the past (perhaps) eight years I've developed five crushes and the main reason why nothing worked out with them is that I never talked to any of them.
The first gal, I talked to when I met her, then I started liking her and never really talked to her much after that. Then we started going to a different church and I never saw her again.
Second one I just never talked to. We did stare at each other during church services, at times, but she moved to Chicago and I didn't like her hair when she came back.
Third I sent three successive letters to. I really regret how I handled three. Not that the letters had terribly many content issues (despite being rather inane and naive), but the fact that I wrote her at all and never really attempted to talk to her is really...(insert word here)-ish.
Four I was friends with for awhile before I decided I liked her as more than that. We talked a lot on facebook. We talked a lot about talking, in fact. She said she wanted to talk to me, but I never could manage to actually talk to her. Whether it was because she always looked like I was going to beat her whenever I talked to her or I was just being paranoid with a ton of people around I don't really know. We were always pretty awkward. I asked her out, she said no, now I have to yell to get her attention and, again, we never talk except in short bursts of spontaneous dialogue.
And now we're to Five. As you may have guessed, four happened relatively recently. I'm still getting over her and the main problem is I'm friends with her brother and sister.
I know, that paragraph above isn't cohesive. It isn't about Five. It's about four. Well that's mainly because they overlap a bit. Three and four overlapped slightly, too. Mainly because three four and five all go to the same church. Which is amazing, because usually my family jerks around a lot. I blame that for my relative social ineptitude. I'm also just really really slow. I didn't talk to any girls until like a year-and-a-half ago. And I'm nineteen. I suck.
OK, so I've skipped Five for the past two inconsistent paragraphs, I'm sure you're itching to know all about her. Yup.
So Five hasn't totally died yet. She still has potential. She's pretty, she sings, she's flippin' wonderful and she has a great tactical advantage: I have no clue what her name is. So I can use her real name here. Which is Five. It's pronounce f-ih-vee, just so you know.
She's got a lot of potential, as I said. The really main thing is I think she might possibly maybe conceivably just-a-smidgen like me. I'm now going to exercise my right to not tell you everything about that.
With all this great potential, though, I really need to talk to her and at least ask her name. Otherwise she'll become like three (only without the stupid letters) and I'll spend another three flippin' years figuring out she hates me (which happened with three).
Keep in mind I don't see her much. I did just see her this evening, though, and pitifully didn't talk to her. Much longer and she'll probably think I'm stalking her. Which would suck more than it does now.
Well, it's late. I'm leaving now. You'll probably be left hanging and this exciting saga will continue without your knowledge. It's sad. If that is the case it's probably because I forgot to post anything interesting up here.
